It's Not Goodbye
by hphglover
Summary: Until the day I let you go, until we say our next hello, it s not good-bye. 'Til I see you again I ll be right here rememberin when. And if time is on our side there will be no tears to cry on down the road. There is one thing I can t deny, it s not good-bye. Quinntana.


_A/N: I was listening to my iPod on shuffle on my way to work the other day and this song came on. Laura Pausini is a wonderful artist and I highly recommend you listen to some of her music. It's in Italian, Spanish and English. This song, It's Not Goodbye, just gave me this idea for a Quinntana fic and so I had to go with it. I hope you like it. I really enjoyed writing it!_

It's Not Goodbye

_Six months prior…_

"_What do you mean you're breaking up with me, Q? What did I do wrong? I promise I'll fix it, whatever it is I did, I'll _fix_ it," she cried out desperately as tears ran down her cheeks._

_Quinn could barely speak; she was crying so much herself. "It's n-nothing you did, love. You're p-perfect."_

"_Then _why_?"_

"_I just can't be with you right now, San. I'm so sorry."_

"_No. I don't accept this. There is something going on and you're not telling me."_

"_If you love me, like you say you do, you'll let me go," Quinn finally said, knowing nothing else would work._

_Santana's eyes widened as more tears poured out. "That's so unfair, Q."_

"_Well, Santana, I know all about life being unfair. I've had a hell of a lot of unfair but there is nothing to do but move on and hope someday something good will happen."_

"_I'm not giving up on us."_

_Quinn couldn't help but smile a little and kiss the pouty lips she adored. "I'll always love you, Santana. It's not goodbye," she whispered against her lips._

_With that, she turned around and left the loft, leaving a sobbing Santana behind and clutching on to her chest, the pain so great she didn't know how she would survive leaving the love of her life._

0-0

_Present day…_

Rachel adjusted her small digital recording camera and made sure she had a good shot of Santana before she started her song. She wasn't sure what the Latina was going to sing. No one could ever be sure until she started singing. The only thing they knew for sure was that it would be some heart wrenching song, just like it had been for the past six months.

She sighed and wondered if anything could be done to fix the situation. No one could believe that after being together for more than a year, and happily so, Quinn had broken up their relationship without much of an explanation.

No one had wanted to take sides, but it was clear that when Quinn broke things off with Santana, she also broke things off with the rest of their tightknit group. No one had seen or heard from her since, and not for lack of trying. Rachel still emailed her every now and then but never got a response.

Rachel noticed Santana giving the piano man a nod and she hit the record button.

_And what if I never kiss your lips again  
Or feel the touch of your sweet embrace  
How would I ever go on  
Without you there´s no place to belong_

It had started when they ended up spending the weekend together in each other's arms at Mr. Shue's failed wedding. The events that took place had brought Santana and Quinn closer but it wasn't until the blonde's sophomore year at Yale that things had taken a serious turn. At first, they had continued to see each other casually while Quinn explored her newfound sexuality, hooking up every now and then when the whim would strike and dating other people sporadically.

It wasn't until the Latina had actually witness Quinn kissing another girl that she had made her move. Knowing that Quinn was dating other girls here and there was one thing, but seeing someone else's lips on hers had been something she couldn't get past. So before she went back to New York, she had a heart to heart with the blonde and told her she wanted them to date exclusively or she was going to go _all Lima Heights on them preppy Yale bitches if they so much as looked at her girl in more than a friendly manner._

Needless to say, Quinn was surprised (and pleased) by the news and had no problem accepting the Latina's proposal.

When the rest of their gang had found out, no one was really surprised and they had all the support they could ever need. Quinn had even told her mother a few months into their new relationship on a trip they'd taken together to Lima and mama Fabray couldn't be happier with the news.

Rachel watched as the words poured out of Santana, the pain so obvious and palpable. All eyes were riveted on her as her husky tone filled the air with longing. She heard Kurt sigh at her side and looked at him quickly as she continued to hold the camera up.

They had started recording each other's performances and the audience's response to it and posting them on YouTube in hopes of attracting some attention to their flourishing careers.

However, Rachel was beginning to think this one particular performance was too raw to share with the masses and she would have to talk to Kurt before posting it. A voice in the back of her mind kept telling her this was for someone else to see entirely and a surprise trip might be in her near future.

0-0

_Well, someday love is gonna lead you back to me  
But ´till it does I´ll have an empty heart  
So I´ll just have to believe  
Somewhere out there you´re thinking of me_

The unexpected knock on her door made Quinn look up from the book she was reading and she quickly marked the page before getting up and walking towards the door. She opened it expecting one of her classmates but gasped when she saw Rachel standing there, a worried look on her face.

She felt all of the air leaving her lungs in a rush and her heart almost stopped as worry, deep and powerful, slammed into her chest. She clutched at it before finding her voice.

"Oh, God, tell me Santana is okay and nothing has happened to her," she pleaded as tears filled her eyes unexpectedly.

Rachel looked at her, eyes widening at the reaction her unannounced visit had created. She hadn't been sure what to expect, but it had certainly not been this. If Quinn reacted so strongly to her visit and immediately assumed something bad had happened to Santana, they were all missing something.

Something important that had the potential to change things if her instincts were right.

"Can I come in, please, Quinn?" she asked gently.

The blonde nodded frantically as she wiped her tears and led them to the small sitting area in her dorm room.

"Rachel, _tell_ me what's wrong with Santana."

"Quinn, Santana is okay." She looked away for a moment and considered what she had just said before shaking her head and changing her mind. "Well, no, that's a lie. Santana is anything but okay."

"Oh, God," she wailed softly. "He promised me. That bastard _promised_ me he wouldn't hurt her," she continued murmuring as she got up and started pacing, fingers running frantically through short strands of blonde hair.

_Until the day I let you go  
Until we say our next hello  
It´s not good-bye  
´Til I see you again  
I´ll be right here rememberin´ when  
And if time is on our side  
There will be no tears to cry  
On down the road  
There is one thing I can´t deny  
It´s not good-bye  
_

"Quinn?" Rachel called out as she also got up and walked closer to the blonde, stopping her frantic pacing by grabbing her by the shoulders. "Who is he and what the hell is going on here? I said she's not okay, but I meant that in an emotional way. Physically there is nothing wrong with her other than having lost some weight since you broke things off with her," she explained, voice hardening just a tad towards the end.

Quinn's knees gave away in relief and she had to hold on to her bed to stay upright.

"Oh, _thank you_, Jesus!"

Rachel helped her sit down and then sat by her side, taking a hold of her hand and giving it a little squeeze.

"I think it's time you told me the real reason you broke things off with Santana. It's obvious by your reaction that you still care deeply about her and by your words, I know I'm missing something here."

"I love Santana with every fiber of my being, Rach. It was never about me not wanting to be with her but about keeping her safe."

"Keeping her safe? From what?"

"Not _what_, but _whom_," Quinn said quietly while looking around as if she was afraid someone was listening to their conversation. She moved closer to Rachel and whispered in her ear, "let's get out of here so I can explain."

Rachel just nodded, lost as to what else to do. Things were just getting more and more strange and she just wanted to get to the bottom of it.

0-0

"Where's Rach?" Santana asked Kurt as she plopped down next to him on the sofa and cuddled into his side.

He wrapped his arm around her and tried to think of a quick lie. He was under strict instructions not to divulge the diva's whereabouts to their roomie in case their plan didn't turn out to be fructiferous.

"She's studying with some friends from school and said not to wait up for her. It might be that she spends the night with one of them if things run late."

"Hmm, is she okay? She's seem a little off this week."

"No, no, she's fine. Probably just tired. She's been studying a lot for finals."

"Speaking of finals, how are you doing with yours?"

"Pretty good so far. I'm surprised they weren't a little harder." He turned to really look at her. "How are things with you? Feeling any better?"

"I can lie and say yes if it makes you feel better," she edged.

"Don't want you to lie, darling. I'll just keep hoping and praying things will work themselves out and something good will happen."

She was quiet for so long that he thought she'd fallen asleep on him until she spoke again, her voice so low he had to strain to hear her.

"Every day I think I'll miss her less, but it's just not happening. I can't stop loving her and wondering what I did wrong to lose her like I did."

"Sweetie, you did nothing wrong. We don't know what happened."

"Something did, Kurt. I bet you every last penny on my considerable trust fund that there's something she's not telling me."

"Is that your Mexican third eye speaking?"

"Yeah. From the moment she broke up with me something's told me that something or someone is behind it. I know my girl and she was as much if not more heartbroken than I was when she told me she couldn't be with me."

He thought it was endearing how she still thought of Quinn as her _girl_. "Do you think someone pushed her into doing it?"

"That's what my gut says. That is why I can't just forget about her and move on. Nothing that happened makes sense; especially that she stopped talking to every single one of our friends."

Listening to Santana, he knew she was right. Something had been fishy about the situation from day one and he just hoped Rachel could break down Quinn's barriers and get a reaction and some answers out of her.

"Well, all I can tell you is that if she is meant to be in your life, it will happen when the time is right. Until then you just have to keep holding on to that hope and we're here for you."

She gave him a tiny, but heartfelt smile. "Thanks, Lady Hummel."

"You're welcome, Satan."

0-0

Rachel couldn't believe someone could be so callous or hurtful or manipulative. Quinn's father was the epitome of evil and while she had never hated anyone, she was beginning to think it was possible to hate Russell Fabray.

"So you see now? I had to keep her safe. I would rather she hate me, I would rather have broken her heart than know I didn't do anything to protect her against my father and his malice."

"But Quinn, a private detective following your every move? Threatening to cut off your school funds because he didn't agree with you seeing Santana? Threatening to hurt her if you didn't break up with her? Does your mother even know this is happening?" she asked aghast.

"She does and so do mami and papi. I went to Lima to see them all a month after I broke up with her. I've had to be so careful in how I do things. I'm trying to take care of everything on my end so I can go and beg her for forgiveness and to take me back if she still wants to be with me."

"She's so hurt, Quinn. So damn broken it's all we can do to keep her going every day. She has to know this is happening."

"I miss her so damn bad, Rachel! I don't sleep at night; I only go to classes and study barely functioning. I had so many plans with her," she related as she pulled a thin gold chain out of her top.

Hanging from it was an engagement ring and Rachel gasped when she saw it.

_You´d think I´d be strong enough to make it through  
And rise above when the rain falls down  
But it´s so hard to be strong  
When you´ve been missin´ somebody so long_

"Is that what I think it is?"

Quinn nodded sadly. "I was planning on asking her to marry me when we finished our junior year. I was making plans to move to New York with all of you."

Rachel pulled her iPad out of her bag and quickly scrolled through her files, finding the one she wanted. She pushed play and turned it towards Quinn.

"This should give you an idea of how she's doing," she explained.

Quinn's eyes were immediately riveted to the screen and tears filled her eyes as she watched Santana's performance.

_It´s just a matter of time I´m sure  
But time takes time and I can´t hold on  
So won´t you try as hard as you can  
To put my broken heart together again_

"What are we going to do about this, Quinn? It's so obvious you're still desperately in love with each other. This isn't fair. That monster can't dictate your life forever."

Quinn leaned forward after she pulled out a small notebook from her back and wrote something on it quickly before turning it towards Rachel.

_Something is being done about it with the help of my mom, mami and papi and our lawyer. I just need a couple of more weeks before this nightmare is over. Promise me you're going to take care of my girl until then and she will know nothing about this. I will tell her everything that is going on as soon as I can. I promise you I'm trying my damnedest to fix this._

Rachel's eyebrows rose and she leaned forward as well before whispering, "are we being watched?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I get pictures sent to me on a weekly basis of things I've been doing. He's keeping a close eye on me and anything I do. This is why I stopped talking to all of you. I don't know if he's bugged my room. I know they read my emails."

"This is like something out of a freaking movie or something!"

"Tell me about it. But promise me, Rach, promise you'll take care of my girl for me until I can come and get her."

Rachel squeezed her hand in support and nodded.

"I promise you."

0-0

When she arrived home late that night, she hadn't been expecting Santana to still be up. She was sitting on the sofa, a book of poems Quinn had given her on her lap.

"Hey," she called out softly in greeting. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Hey, there, Hobs. I couldn't sleep."

Rachel smiled at the old nickname. "Want me to make you some tea? It might help."

"Nah, but if you're not too tired, you can keep me company for a bit."

Rachel immediately sat by her side and frowned when Santana went completely still next to her. "What's wrong, San?"

Santana turned to look at her and moved closer, almost nuzzling into her neck. "Oh, God, you smell like her. Did you _see_ her?"

The desperation in Santana's voice was clear and it made Rachel falter for a moment. She wanted to tell her it would all be over soon. Wanted to tell her things were going to work out in the end, but she had promised Quinn to keep Santana safe. So she did the only thing she could in that moment.

She lied to one of her dearest friends.

"No, San, I didn't see Quinn."

Santana's tears soon followed. "It would have been a year and eight months today, Rach. I just can't stand the pain anymore," she sobbed brokenly as Rachel wrapped her in a tight hug.

"I know, sweetheart. I've got you," she tried to soothe her with words as she damned Russell Fabray to hell and back.

_Until the day I let you go  
Until we say our next hello  
It´s not good-bye  
´Til I see you again  
I´ll be right here rememberin´ when  
And if time is on our side  
There will be no tears to cry  
On down the road  
There is one thing I can´t deny  
It´s not good-bye_

"Do you think I'll ever get over her?" Santana asked in a tiny voice from where her head was resting on Rachel's lap. She was spent after so many tears. "Do you think she's okay?"

"I don't think it's easy getting over the love of your life, San. I also know Quinn Fabray enough to know that right now she's probably in bed bawling her eyes out because she's as broken hearted as you are, if not more."

"Then why did she do it, Rachel? Why did she leave me?"

"Sometimes things out of our control make us do things we don't want to do, San. We just have to keep hoping that someday we'll be able to rectify them," she edged carefully.

"Do you know something I don't, Hobs? Are you keeping secrets from me?" Santana pushed as she sat back up.

"All I'm going to ask is that you not give up just yet, alright? Trust me on this, Santana. It's not time to give up on your love."

"Rach – "

"Let's get you to bed, Santana. It's getting late."

"But – "

"No, not buts. I promise things are going to work out the way they're supposed to soon enough."

Knowing there was no way to make Rachel talk when she clammed up like this, Santana nodded and followed her to her bedroom.

She knew the brunette, however, and she knew more than she was letting on. For the first time in six months, Santana felt a tiny seed of hope blossom in her heart.

0-0

Rachel stared at the screen of her laptop, mouth hanging open as she read the unexpected email from Quinn.

_Dear Rachel,_

_It's finally over! Go into the link I provided and you can read what happened. I'll be at the loft on Friday evening. Please make sure Santana is there. I'm going to get my girl back!_

_Love,_

_Quinn_

She immediately clicked on the link and it brought up the webpage for the local newspaper in Lima. Her eyes widened even more as her hand flew to her gaping mouth when she read the first headline.

_BUSSINESS AND REAL ESTATE MOGUL RUSSELL FABRAY ARRESTED AND CHARGED WITH COMMITING FRAUD, MONEY LAUNDERING AND DRUG TRAFFICKING. _

"Holy shit, Quinn! You _did_ it!" She ran out of her room shouting Kurt's name. He came out of his room running as well.

"Where's the fire?"

"Quinn's coming back, Kurt! She's coming back for Santana!"

"Oh, thank baby Jesus," he exclaimed as they hugged and jumped up and down.

0-0

Santana kept watching Kurt and Rachel suspiciously as they prepared dinner and kept mumbling things to each other while taking peeks at her every few minutes. She also noticed they kept looking at the clock on the wall. She frowned as she wondered if they had invited someone over that she either didn't like or didn't want to meet and were too afraid to tell her. It wouldn't be the first time it happened and she really wasn't in the mood. While exams were finally over the day before, she was tired and cranky and certainly not in the mood for visitors.

"You ladies okay over there?" she finally called out.

"Just fine, dear," Kurt called back as her stirred something that smelled yummy on the stove.

"Hmmph."

She tried to go back to her book but a few minutes later there was a timid knock on their door. She looked at her roomies first and noticed their eyes were round as they darted between the door and each other.

"Um, Santana, could you get that," Kurt finally spoke after they hear the knocking again.

"I'm not expecting anyone. Why should _I_ get it?"

"Santana," Rachel's voice was firm. "You _need_ to get that door."

Her eyebrows rose as her heart picked up speed. "I do?" she asked with a catch in her voice.

"You really, really do, sweetheart. Hey, maybe it's love knocking on your door again."

Her smile said it all as Santana bolted for the door and pushed it open. A sob escaped her when she saw her.

Quinn looked tired, had bags under her eyes and her hair looked like a mess. She was just wearing jeans, Chucks and a simple white t-shirt and in her hand was a bouquet of lilac tulips.

Santana had never seen a more beautiful sight in her entire life.

Before she could speak, however, Quinn gently put a trembling finger against her lips and shook her head.

"I know you have a lot to say, lots of names you want to call me, but let me say my piece first." She waited until Santana nodded before removing her finger and moving just a step closer, tears gathering in her beautiful hazel orbs. "I never once stopped loving you, baby, and I never wanted to hurt you. I had to do what I did to keep you safe." She grabbed a folder from her bag and handed it to her. "Everything is in there and I want you to look at all of it before you say anything. Once you know what's being going on for the past seven months we'll talk."

Nodding once more she took the offered folder and walked inside, followed by the blonde.

She sat on the sofa and opened it, noticing from the corner of her eye that Rachel had moved closer to Quinn and had embraced her. Kurt was also at their side.

Her eyes widened as she scanned the many pages and documents. "_Fucking son of a bitch_! Imma kill that motherfucker if it's the last thing I do," she exclaimed hotly as she neared the end.

Quinn, Rachel and Kurt winced as more expletives and colorful threats left the Latina's mouth as her anger escalated. Quinn was afraid this would happen, so she let her voice out her anger and waited.

Suddenly she got up from the sofa, walked towards her room without spearing any of them a glance and slammed the door once she was inside. At the first sound of something slamming against the door and breaking Quinn's sobs started.

Rachel and Kurt helped her to the sofa and sat on her sides, waiting for the storm raging inside of Santana's room to pass.

Five minutes later they could still hear what sounded like muffled screams and sobs that were heart wrenching. Rachel ran soothing circles against Quinn's back as the blonde pushed her head between her legs and sobbed herself.

Kurt finally had enough and stormed into Santana's room, not caring that he hadn't knocked as was their rule.

Santana's murderous eyes met his.

"Calm the _fuck_ down and go out there and talk to her! She's in as much pain, if not more than you are. She's the one that has been dealing with her father's shit for this long and she only did this to protect you," he told her in a harsh tone.

Yes, Kurt had developed a backbone while living with Santana and could put her in her place when she acted like a fool.

"I want to _kill_ him for doing this to her, to _us_, Kurt," she wailed softly.

"I understand that, Santana, but she needs you right now. She thinks you hate her!"

"That couldn't be farther from the truth."

"Then _tell_ her that because she's a wreck out there and you are in here. You work better when you do things _together_. Now it's the time to recover what you lost, to show that bastard he didn't win. Right now, Santana, you're still letting him win."

That sobered her right up and she walked past him and into the living room where the sight of a rocking Quinn brought tears to her eyes again.

"Baby," she called out softly as she moved closer to her. She kneeled on the floor and cupped her cheeks, lifting bloodshot eyes to her own. "I'm here; it's going to be okay."

"Oh, San, I've missed you so damn much!" the blonde exclaimed before wrapping her arms around her lover and holding her close.

"Missed you, too, baby, but you're here with me now. Nothing else matters."

"I'm never leaving you again. I promise you I'm _never leaving you again_. I love you so much, sweetheart. I never stopped."

"I love you, too, baby girl."

The talk was long and tedious at points and Santana exploded more than once as she learned all of the details. Kurt had to raise his voice more than once to calm her down and Rachel had to keep soothing Quinn's raw nerves as she cried every time she saw Santana in a rage.

They manages to eat the dinner Kurt and Rachel had prepared and retired to the living room as Quinn explained more about the documents Santana had scanned through earlier. Russell had not only threatened Quinn and her mother many times, but he had also threatened Santana's safety more than once. Once Quinn had confided in her mom and the Lopez's, they had put a plan in motion, even brining Fran back since she had witness some things when she had still lived at home and had surprisingly made copies of incriminating documents she had once found on their father's desk.

A secret investigation had started and kept hushed for the sake of all involved. It had taken six months of hard work, of hiring lawyers and a detective of their own, of finding people willing to testify against Russell to build a solid case. It was his own arrogance and self-importance that had done him in when he started sharing too much sensitive information to a secret informant they had managed to infiltrate into his company. A bottle of good scotch had loosened his mouth more than once, giving them more ammunition against him.

"So you see, love, I had to break all ties with you until I knew we'd be safe to love each other again. It was never goodbye for me, Santana."

"Where does that leave us now?" she asked worriedly because she didn't want to jump to conclusions if Quinn wasn't ready to start a relationship with her again so soon.

"I want you to forgive me for the pain I caused you all of these months," she started as she held her hand.

"I wasn't your fault. I know that now, Q."

"Would you consider being my girlfriend again?" she asked timidly as Kurt and Rachel watched on and held their breaths.

Santana looked into Quinn's eyes, only seeing love and devotion reflected back at her. How could she deny herself and her heart the opportunity to be with her again?

She couldn't and she wasn't going to.

"I would love nothing more," she finally whispered as her eyes filled with happy tears this time.

A tiny sob escaped Quinn as she smiled and pulled her chain out of her shirt. She let go of Santana's hand and undid the clasp, keeping the ring out of sight. She moved down from the sofa and kneeled down in front of the stunned Latina.

"I was planning to do this six months ago and I'm not letting him win. I'm not waiting any longer." Santana watched as Quinn opened her hand and showed her the ring. "Santana Lopez, tu eres el amor de mi vida. Cásate conmigo."

Tears spilled down Santana's cheeks as she heard the proposal in Spanish. She knew her parents had something to do with that and she smiled just as big as Quinn was.

"¡Si, mi amor! ¡Me caso contigo!"

A kiss sealed the promise as Kurt and Rachel watched in amazement and hugged each other.

_Until the day I let you go  
Until we say our next hello  
It´s not good-bye  
´Til I see you again  
I´ll be right here rememberin´ when  
And if time is on our side  
There will be no tears to cry  
On down the road  
There is one thing I can´t deny  
It´s not good-bye_

0-0

Much later that night, after having made tender and slow love to each other more than once, they were cuddled in bed, just enjoying each other's presence.

"So how is this going to work now, baby? You still have a year left at Yale and then your graduate studies."

"I told you I'm not leaving you again and I meant that. I start at Columbia this summer and will do all of my graduate work there. I only have six classes left until I get my bachelor's because I was taking extra classes to finish earlier. I want us to get an apartment together as soon as we can. Money won't be an issue."

"You're moving to New York?"

"I already packed up my dorm and I have no reason to go back to New Haven. I'm here from today on."

Santana hugged her closer to her body and smiled. "I can't believe you're finally here with me, Q. I couldn't stand the pain anymore and I missed you something fierce."

Quinn held her tightly and kissed her neck tenderly. "It wasn't any easier for me. But it's over now and we're going to move on from this. Mamma, mami and papi are flying in tomorrow and we're going to spend a couple of weeks with them looking at places, getting our new apartment together and just being a family and forgetting what's happened for the past six months."

"What about Frannie? I'd like to thank her as well."

"She'll join us the second week they're here. She wants to see you as well. Something about giving you the sister talk," she finished with a little chuckle.

"Oh oh!"

"I won't let her hurt you, baby!" Quinn cooed.

"So I only get one single night with you before being surrounded by the parentals?"

"Afraid so, sweetheart. At least for the next two weeks you have to share me a little."

"Then let's make the most of tonight," she suggested as she moved to lie on top of her fiancé.

_Fiancé_. Now that sounded wonderful and had a nice ring of forever. Santana brushed her lips against Quinn's and savored it more than ever.

"Te amo," she whispered against her lips.

"Y yo a ti, mi amor," Quinn whispered back before closing the tiny distance between their lips and pouring all of her love into their kiss.

The nightmare was finally over.

It was never a goodbye.

0-0


End file.
